Why should we have self-empathy?

As defined by the RAE, "Empathy is the ability to identify with someone and be able to share their feelings" and it is also one of the fundamental requirements for acquiring emotional intelligence, as it is related to understanding, compassion, support and active listening. Empathy and compassion are values that are cultivated as part of social skills, but often human beings lack the ability to express, both to ourselves and to others, so it is important that empathy before expressing it outwardly, we can first share it with ourselves.

Talk to yourself carefully, affectionately and understand that the magic is in the difference, when you know yourself, you understand each other.

How can we achieve this? To begin with, we must eliminate the qualifiers towards our actions, thoughts and feelings; because by placing wrong or assertive meanings, bad or good, courageous or not, we begin to treat ourselves with such harshness, where the possibility of seeing opportunity in error is almost nil, biasing any good intention, act of courage or kindness, etc; from there, we lose confidence in ourselves, weakening our confidence to believe that we are good, capable, brave, courageous, beautiful, deserving of good things, among many others.

As we are the first to question ourselves from judgment, the only thing we could expect is that the world will present itself to us in the same way. Accordingly, before we are rejected or singled out, we have already rejected or singled ourselves out. To be empathic is to have an insight into the feelings of others, hence the invitation to be sensitive to oneself. As people who like to listen, analyzing why a person feels the way they do is a way to give legitimacy to their feelings, the invitation is that you like to listen to yourself, that you manage to analyze and understand what you feel.

Ser flexibles, tolerantes y bondadosos consigo mismos para reconocer una razón

In thinking, extremism should be avoided, understanding that it is in the intermediate points where flexibility is present. Permission is given to the understanding that legitimizes the feeling of the other person, by perceiving the reality of the other, we are validating our own experience. There is not only white, nor black, there are also gray points. The invitation is to be flexible, tolerant, kind to oneself to recognize a reason, a story in which there must be focus in order to transcend, advance and evolve.

Let us be respectful of our feelings, because by understanding and accepting the wishes of others, we can also recognize our right to our own space, to deal with our own emotions and thus adequately communicate what we want to express. Be kind to yourself, love yourself, do not hold grudges or express anger towards yourself or others, behave with care, affection and understand that in the difference is the magic, when you know yourself, you understand yourself, and so you can help others to also know and understand you. ¡Start with you!